


Somewhere Along The Way

by trainerred



Category: Moominvalley (Cartoon 2019), Mumintroll | Moomins Series - Tove Jansson
Genre: Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Falling In Love, First Relationship, M/M, Mutual Pining, Snusmumriken | Snufkin Has Paws and a Tail, set in the 2019 moominvalley universe, snufkin learns how to love and be in love, the rest of the gang shows up too
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-05-22
Updated: 2019-06-07
Packaged: 2020-03-09 09:18:19
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,204
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18914029
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/trainerred/pseuds/trainerred
Summary: Snufkin wasn’t sure when exactly the feeling started. Perhaps it was this summer during one of their nights alone under the stars, or maybe the seed had been planted the first time he had promised to return with the spring. The when didn’t matter as much as the what.Snufkin was in love with Moomin, and it terrified him.To be in love was to be suffocated. It meant the loss of freedom. To be in love was to be rooted to one person; grown to them like moss to a log. Love meant the loss of the freedom that lit Snufkin’s soul aflame. Being in love with another was not something Snufkin wanted to experience, nor did he ever think he would.---aka Snufkin learns how to love and be in love.





	1. Spring Comes Late

Snufkin was late.

Trees had sprouted clusters of green leaves again; flowers had blossomed and claimed home along the edges of his tent. Birds sang with him as the sun rose and kissed his skin with its warmth. The air smelt of fresh pine and marigolds, and it was spring.

It was spring, but Snufkin was far from Moominvalley.

The winter had been particularly harsh this year, but not because of the freezing temperatures or the hungry nights; but rather from something else. This something had wrapped itself around Snufkin’s heart like a vine and squeezed with each step he took.

_Moomin._

The snowbanks he passed all seemed to have one peculiar Moomin shape. He had heard Moomin’s hearty laughter in the wind and recognized the shades of his eyes in the afternoon sky.

_Moomin._

The tunes he played reminded him of Moomin. The riverbanks frozen over reminded him of Moomin. The patch of foliage he spotted fighting against the snow reminded him of Moomin. The vast array of stars scattered across the dark winter sky reminded him of Moomin.

_Moomin._

_Moomin._

_Moomin._

He awoke with thoughts of him and drifted off missing him. 

Now, it wasn’t unusual for Moomin to cross Snufkin’s mind during his travels. There had been plenty of times where Snufkin had pocketed a lonely seashell or a rare stone to give to him once they reunited. It wasn’t like he didn’t wonder about him from time to time.

What _was_ unusual was that Moomin was everywhere and everything. It had made traveling oh so difficult.

This was supposed to be Snufkin’s time for himself; time to recharge and rediscover the world he loved so much. As much as he enjoyed his time in Moominvalley, Snufkin craved this period of solitude. He was a creature who could not function properly without it. Snufkin needed time to be alone. He was a wanderer at heart, and a wanderer he always will be.  
And so when he found himself craving the familiarity of the valley and longed desperately to return to a certain friend, he knew something was very wrong.

Snufkin wasn’t sure when exactly the feeling started. Perhaps it was this summer during one of their nights alone under the stars, or maybe the seed had been planted the first time he had promised to return with the spring. The when didn’t matter as much as the what.

Snufkin was in love with Moomin, and it terrified him. 

To be in love was to be suffocated. It meant the loss of freedom. To be in love was to be rooted to one person; grown to them like moss to a log. Love meant the loss of the freedom that lit Snufkin’s soul aflame. Being in love with another was not something Snufkin wanted to experience, nor did he ever think he would.

But even so, the vine around his heart would tighten its grip with thoughts of Moomin.

Moomin, his best friend. Moomin, the kindest, warmest creature Snufkin had ever met (and Snufkin had met a lot of creatures). Moomin, the reason he returned to the valley every spring year after year after year. Moomin was warmth, Moomin was sunlight, Moomin was adventure, Moomin was happiness, and Moomin was love.

The vines sprouted thorns and dug themselves into his heart.

It hurt, and he was afraid, and that’s why Snufkin stayed away.

The fear of being in love, of being forever caged by his admiration, is why Snufkin did not greet spring in Moominvalley.

It was a very difficult choice. Birds and flowers meant spring, and spring meant Moomin, but Moomin was not here. Spring was not the same without him or the valley, and his heart longed to be there. Hurt and guilt suffocated him, but Snufkin knew distance was what he needed, even if he had to force it. Snufkin needed to distance himself or else he’d be succumbing to the loss of his freedom, and that was scarier than any nightmares even the Groke could plague him with. Snufkin was nothing without his freedom.

Birds needed to fly, fish needed to swim, and Snufkin needed to be free. A bird is a bird, as a fish is a fish, as a Snufkin is a Snufkin.

He couldn’t bring himself to just ghost Moomin, though. Knowing his friend, he would grow sick with worry as weeks carried on and would eventually end up hunting Snufkin down himself. The thought of putting Moomin through that turmoil made Snufkin’s stomach churn, and so he wrote him.

_Moomin,_

_I do not know when this letter will see you, as I am far from Moominvalley. You see, I had mistakenly taken a detour, and now I find myself further away from Moominvalley than I had anticipated. I will return as soon as I can._

_Cheerio,  
Snufkin_

Lying felt horrible, but why was he supposed to say? _‘Moomintroll, I’m sorry but I will be arriving in the valley late this year. See, I’m in love with you, and that scares me so deeply that I need to be away from you.’_ Snufkin could not tell him the truth, and so he didn’t.

Moomin would just have to accept a few weeks of spring without him.

  


* 

  


It was easier said than done.

Snufkin had found himself absentmindedly heading in the direction of Moominvalley a few times already. He had scolded his legs and muscle memory and blamed the pesky ache in his heart. He missed Moomin dearly; for what was spring without him? Not being in Moominvalley during the season felt unnatural, like the rest of the world wasn’t supposed to exist. 

Snufkin tried to remind himself that it was for the best.  
“Distance,” he told himself, “you need distance because you cannot be in love with Moomin. Snufkins are not made for being in love. We are meant to come and go on our own accord; tied to nobody and nothing. We-- _I_ cannot be who I am if I’m caged in by my feelings for him.”

The distance only seemed to prove less and less helpful by the day. The ache in Snufkin’s heart lingered and grew with every passing thought of Moomin.

Moomin, Moomin, Moomin, Moomin.

“I should be with Moomin.”

The deep longing in his soul was similar to the one felt if he stayed in the valley for too long. It was like his very being called out to him to _run, run,_ and that he would not be happy unless he listened to it. The same flame that lit his eyes and guided him in his travels was calling for him to return to Moominvalley.

How was he supposed to ignore that?

Snufkin tells himself that it’d be better to face his problem rather than continue to run away from it. If he really believes that, he isn’t sure, but all that mattered now was Moomin.


	2. Affection

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> OKAY WOW THANK YOU GUYS FOR ALL THE GREAT FEEDBACK!! i honestly didnt expect it and it means a lot to me as a dude who has written seriously in like 5 years
> 
> sorry for the long wait, writing doesnt come as easy to me as it used to

The new spring tune wasn’t exactly _new_.

Unfortunately, Snufkin never had the chance to compose a new one due to the… distraction he faced all winter. He figured a recycled one would work just fine though, and that Moomin would be thrilled to see him regardless of the song. 

And was that ever true!

Snufkin had hardly stepped ten feet into the valley when he spotted that very familiar Moomin shape scurrying out of the big blue house on the hill. Even from this far away, Snufkin could see him trip and nearly tumble, paws unable to keep up with his excitement. Snufkin’s heart did a few flips and he too found himself walking faster.

“Snufkin!” He was already calling across the river, “Oh, Snufkin!”

It was immensely difficult to keep up the song when Snufkin wanted oh so badly to just break and run towards his friend. He wanted to race the rest of the distance between them, composure be damned, and tackle Moomin. He wanted to give him the biggest hug his arms could muster and whisper into his soft fur, _“I am sorry. I missed you dearly.”_

But this was not a silly fantasy, and Snufkin couldn’t allow himself that. And so he kept his cool as the song came to an end and he met Moomin on the bridge.

“Moomintroll,” he greeted as casually as he could. Moomin was out of breath and huffing, but it didn’t stop a smile from lighting up his round face.

“Snufkin,” he cried again. He took ahold of Snufkin’s paws in his own, “I thought by your letter that surely you’d be gone longer!”

 _‘So did I,’_ but he doesn’t say it. Moomin’s paws are as soft and as warm as ever and it feels like holding onto a cloud. It’s familiar and comforting and Snufkin’s heart bursts with warmth, shouting _‘this is where I needed to be’_.

He cannot allow his heart to feel so fuzzy, and so he reluctantly pulls away. He pretends to fiddle with a thread on his hat.

Moomin either doesn’t notice or doesn’t mind. He’s still radiating joy, “You must tell me all about it! Did you discover any secrets?”

Snufkin hates the irony of that question.

“No, no, not this time. But I did run into a rather peculiar fellow and his brother. I thought one was a gnome and the other had a kettle on his head! They also traveled with the grumpiest bluebird I had ever met. Very strange trio.”

Moomin’s light outshines the sun. He clasps his large paws together, eyes twinkling with awe as the always did when Snufkin brought home new tales.

Moomin opens his mouth to speak, but a different voice meets his ears.

“There you are!” It’s Little My. She sits on a water lily with that ever mischievous glint in her eyes and a smirk on her face. Snufkin wonders how long she’s been there. “I was beginning to think you were eaten by a giant beast far off in the mountains.”

Moomin is not amused, “And I told you not to say such things!”

Her smirk only grows despite Moomin’s stern glare, but Snufkin knows she’s just teasing. She missed him. He had forgotten how warm and lovely it felt to be missed by someone; to matter enough to another that they look forward to your return. It felt like being swaddled up in a warm blanket. It felt like home.

The warmth is a little too suffocating. He tries to push it away.

Little My hops off the water lily and beings scaling the bridge like a rat, “Moomintroll put a hold on adventures until whenever you decided to show your face again. I’m sick of sitting around here all day.”

“My! I want to be alone with Snufkin, at least for a bit! We can all do something later.”

She rolls her eyes, “Oh, you always want to be alone with Snufkin.”

Snufkin blushes and his tail thrashes in embarrassment. While he _did_ want to be alone with Moomin, he reminds himself that they need distance. Spending time alone with Moomin was bound to only ignite the feelings he has for him. Besides, he feels a little too drained for social interaction anyway.

“Actually,” Snufkin says, “I’d quite like some time alone to set up camp and get situated. It’s been a long journey.”

Moomin’s ears droop for a second as if to say _‘but you just got here!’_ , though they perk right back up in an instant.

“Oh, I’ll help Mama make some tea and cakes for when you’re finished,” he announces, “Come with me, My.”  
Little My pouts, but she doesn’t object. Moomin offers Snufkin one last smile before heading off to his house with My close behind.

The image of Moomin’s sunny smile and kind eyes lingers in Snufkin’s mind for longer than he would’ve liked. Moomin looked at nearly everyone like that, but there was a certain affection in his gaze reserved only for Snufkin. 

He grips the straps of his bag to reel himself back to reality. 

“Focus, Snufkin,” he scolds himself quietly. He huffs out a breath to ground himself and crosses the bridge.

 

*

 

It’s like Snufkin brought the valley to life. 

He hardly had time to himself to set up camp when news of his arrival spread. 

Snorkmaiden was the first visitor. She had stopped by on her way to Moominhouse and complemented the new arrangement of flowers strung around his hat. She must’ve sensed his exhaustion though; she made little small talk before leaving with a pretty smile and a promise to see him later. 

Sniff had stopped by as well and pestered Snufkin about something he didn’t pay much attention to. He could be quite frustrating sometimes, and Snufkin wasn’t necessarily in the mood for it. There was fishing to be done. 

The birds and the fish too flocked around Snufkin. It seemed like everyone in the valley had taken a moment to see him. Snufkin had been missed by truly everyone. 

There was still enough time for Snufkin to recharge despite the rocky start, much to his relief. After spending a few hours setting up his tent, fishing for a late lunch, and just taking some time for himself, Snufkin felt ready to join everyone at Moominhouse. 

He played an airy tune as he trekked up the hill. The wind carried his song briskly, ushering it up the hill to the big blue house, and soon Moomin was out on the porch to catch it.

“Snufkin,” he could hear the smile in Moomin’s voice.

Mama and Papa were waiting for him as well, having come out alongside their son to greet their annual spring guest. Snufkin pocketed his harmonica as he reached the steps of Moominhouse.

“Hullo,” he tipped his hat in polite greeting, “it’s nice to see you two again.”

“Welcome back, Snufkin,” Moominmama’s voice was sweeter than honey. He was admittedly very soft for her and looked to her as a mother figure, as most of their friends did. Moominmama was the closest thing he had to a mother. Snufkin was thankful for her kindness.

Moominpapa was just as eager to say hello.  
“Snufkin, my boy!” He patted Snufkin’s back with a sense of pride that made him feel dizzy. He was very, very loved indeed.

As love came to mind, Moomin reached for Snufkin’s paw as if he knew. Moomin bounced on his paws, unable to contain his happiness. Moomin’s love was the warmest of them all.

“Come on in! We were just playing a round of cards.”

He lead Snufkin into his home and let go of his paw before Snufkin could overthink it. 

Their friends were seated around the kitchen table, everyone with a hand of playing cards. Empty plates of cake crumbles sat beside them all except Sniff, who was working on what was likely his third or fourth helping. 

“You’re just in time to watch me win,” Little My grinned from her place on top of the table. 

“Because you’re cheating!” Sniff whined. His cheeks were round with cake. Moomin pulled out an empty chair between himself and Little My. 

“You can sit beside me and join the next game! Whose turn was it?”

Snufkin got himself situated in the chair and observed the game in content silence. He soon found his attention drifting to Moomin. Regardless of all the inner turmoil he struggled with through the winter, Snufkin had missed Moomintroll dearly. Being back in Moominvalley felt _right_ , but the sense of belonging was one that Snufkin was not accustomed to, and it was a little overwhelming. He knew from the moment he had returned to Moominvalley that second spring that the sacrifice of his own freedom would someday catch up to him. It was completely against a Snufkin’s nature to do anything of the like! He was foolish to not think of the consequences. 

He was the missing piece of Moominvalley, and Moomintroll was the missing piece of his heart. Just as he would be miserable staying here forever, he would be miserable if he never returned.

Snufkin hated that realization. 

“That wasn’t fair!” Sniff yells, and Snufkin is back in the kitchen of Moominhouse and out of his thoughts.  
“Don’t be such a sore loser, Sniff,” Little My replies. She had won their intense game of Go Fish.

“Oh, and I still had a pawful of cards too!” Moomin complains, his eyebrows pinched in frustration. Snorkmaiden was the only one who did not seem bitter about My’s victory. 

“Now that Snufkin is back, I say we go exploring,” Sniff suggests. He slaps his hand of cards onto the table, “I heard that there’s a secret cave not too far from here. It’s probably hiding some treasure!”

The suggestion piques everyone’s interest, and the game becomes long forgotten. Little My is the first to stand up. She leaps off the table and climbs down onto the chair. 

“There’s probably some nasty monster guarding the treasure,” she says, “we’ll need weapons!”

Snorkmaiden frowns, “A monster? That sounds a little dangerous.”

Moomin offers her a reassuring smile and places a paw over her own. It’s more than enough to calm her. 

“Don’t worry,” he comforts, “I’ll protect you and all of us!”  
While it’s a sweet gesture, it’s more likely that Snorkmaiden would end up being the one to protect Moomin from whatever hypothetical danger there is. She was much more brave and strong than she let on. 

Everyone seemed to be in agreement on the plan to explore the mysterious cave, although Sniff was a bit anxious about the supposed monster lurking in the darkness. The room bustled with the first wave of excitement of the season-- excitement that didn’t quite reach Snufkin.

He loved exploring, of course he did; visiting new towns and adventuring through old forests was one of his most favorite things. He was enamoured with it. It was a large part of Snufkin’s character, but the prospect of the secret cave filled with treasure and a terrifying beast held little to no importance to Snufkin right now.

Moomin was holding his paw again. 

Moomin had always been rather affectionate, a seed that had probably been planted by his loving parents, and was especially so with his best friend. When it came to bigger gestures such as hugs, Moomin always made a point to ask Snufkin for permission. He knew that touch was sometimes restricting to him, and it was something Snufkin had greatly appreciated over the years; Moomin’s willingness to compromise. 

So Moomin’s affectionate nature likely meant that the paw clasped around his own meant nothing more than a friendly way to be close to Snufkin. It was how Moomin expressed himself, and Snufkin had been gone a long time. Moomin probably just missed him and wanted to be close to him. Snufkin didn’t know. The only thing he knew for sure was that Moomintroll’s simple touch made that pesky vine around his heart come to life and squeeze. He was left lightheaded with thoughts of Moomin, thoughts of love, and thoughts of being in love with Moomin. It was confusing and frustrating and it was all Snufkin could think about.

He’d have to try a bit harder to be distant, it seems.

**Author's Note:**

> sorry its so short, i like having my chapters be longer :(  
> i've been wanting to write a fic about snufkin coming to terms with his feelings for moomin for awhile so.... here we go.  
> i havent written seriously or written a multi chapter fic since 2014/2015-ish so please bear with me as i remember How to Write
> 
> i'll try to update soon to get this going since nothing really happened in this chapter


End file.
